Panic Attacks and Xanax
Jul. 31st, 2003 08:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cassy_gSo, I started having a panic attack. I haven't had one in a while. Not the full blown ones... where everything seems out of control and like it is going to explode at any moment. When I get like that, I get the shakes and feel like there's an axe hovering over my head about to fall on me, but I don't know what direction it might be coming from. Real deer in headlights, fight or flight sort of thing.
So, I wasn't getting any work done, well because I was shaking and just... it's hard to explain, almost hyper, because that's the way my panic attacks work. My brain runs like a million miles a minute and it's all anxiety and fear. But I wasnt' getting anything done.
So, I have a 'scrip for Xanax, but I never really take it, if I don't really have to. It's really addictive I have been told... plus I don't like taking stuff, and I am of the mind that if something works, then I never want to take it and it not work (ie building up tolerances to it). On top of that, I am kind of feeling like I have been doing better, and having to take it would be like a step backwards for me, but then again, that's what I have the 'scrip for, so when I am panicky I can not be panicky.
So, I decided to take a half a pill, ummm an hour or so ago now, like around 6:30ish. I have 2.5 mg pills, which I think is a low dosage anyway, but well drugs and me have a love hate relationship, and I have strong reactions to them, so I took like half a pill. But, now I am not getting anything done because I feel really like nothing is very important. Plus, I feel just... umm disconnected, but I think I am thinking fast at the same time. But, I am thinking fast about nothing.
Now I think I know why I tend to go to sleep when I take Xanax. But I have been laying on the couch, I was watching Bugs Bunny Superstar, now I am watching Rocko's Modern Life. The Bugs Bunny thing was pretty cool, they were showing lots of the super old cartoons, plus they interviewed Fritz Freling, Bob Clampett, and Tex Avery. Obviously, it was filmed back when they were all still alive. I love some of the old cartoons and I never get to see them much any more.
Anyway, I feel completely out of it, and I am getting a whole lot of absolutely nothing done. I guess the good thing is it should wear off in about 12 hours. For now, I think I have to crawl off to bed.
So, I wasn't getting any work done, well because I was shaking and just... it's hard to explain, almost hyper, because that's the way my panic attacks work. My brain runs like a million miles a minute and it's all anxiety and fear. But I wasnt' getting anything done.
So, I have a 'scrip for Xanax, but I never really take it, if I don't really have to. It's really addictive I have been told... plus I don't like taking stuff, and I am of the mind that if something works, then I never want to take it and it not work (ie building up tolerances to it). On top of that, I am kind of feeling like I have been doing better, and having to take it would be like a step backwards for me, but then again, that's what I have the 'scrip for, so when I am panicky I can not be panicky.
So, I decided to take a half a pill, ummm an hour or so ago now, like around 6:30ish. I have 2.5 mg pills, which I think is a low dosage anyway, but well drugs and me have a love hate relationship, and I have strong reactions to them, so I took like half a pill. But, now I am not getting anything done because I feel really like nothing is very important. Plus, I feel just... umm disconnected, but I think I am thinking fast at the same time. But, I am thinking fast about nothing.
Now I think I know why I tend to go to sleep when I take Xanax. But I have been laying on the couch, I was watching Bugs Bunny Superstar, now I am watching Rocko's Modern Life. The Bugs Bunny thing was pretty cool, they were showing lots of the super old cartoons, plus they interviewed Fritz Freling, Bob Clampett, and Tex Avery. Obviously, it was filmed back when they were all still alive. I love some of the old cartoons and I never get to see them much any more.
Anyway, I feel completely out of it, and I am getting a whole lot of absolutely nothing done. I guess the good thing is it should wear off in about 12 hours. For now, I think I have to crawl off to bed.
