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cassy_g"I have come to accept that there are some things in this life I will never again have the pleasure of experiencing."
Yesterday, after accomplishing a few things on a long list of things that have to get done for D*C, I surfed around on the web for a while. Mostly, I was catching up on the news, current events, reading some journals that I haven't read in a while, nothing important really, just brain candy.
Through six degrees of nothing, I stumbled on a journal kept by a lifestyle submissive. I am not sure why I read any of it. Honestly, I don't even remember specifically what she was talking about. It was something beyond nostalgic to me, and felt like that old favorite blanket that you keep tucked away for special moments.
I miss being curled up on the floor with my head on his lap, or laying in bed beside him, listening to the irregular sound of his heart beating against my cheek, the feel of his fingers running through my hair, or holding it tight at the nape of my neck. I miss his smile, and his laughter, the way he purred my name when he was happy. I miss the way he looked at me, like I was some sort of miracle, that I was beautiful and perfect.
It was never about the sex. It will never be about the sex. That's the one thing I could never explain. Millions of words, and I could never find the right ones.
I ache, from head to toe and back again.
My eyes ache to study the contour of a face, over their neck, along their collar bone. The way you subconsciously memorize the shadows as they dance over their body. To see their eyes flutter closed as bliss washes over their face.
My ears ache to hear that name whispered to me again, to hear the soft caress of a voice so utterly consumed in pleasure that it trembles. The way it can send a chill through your spine, or wash you in incomprehensible heat.
My nose aches to inhale another, every last ounce of them. The way even the most subtle scent can pull you right back into that moment.
My lips ache to mingle with another's, to feel their fullness against mine. The way their breath washes over you, dancing over your skin with the softest of whispers.
My tongue aches to taste the sweet, the sour, everything they are. The way you can become totally lost in them.
My hands ache to feel, to touch and caress the warmth of life. The way the tips of the fingers can memorize every texture, every curve, every muscle.
My flesh aches for the tightness of the rope, the pull and strain on every muscle in my body. The way it makes my heart race with fear and comfort.
My skin aches to be touched, to memorize the fire of the first caress. The way it dances between pleasure and pain, nails raking over my skin, or the whisper light caress of fingertips.
My heart aches to feel complete in the arms of another. The way it memorizes everything they say when they look at you just so.
I ache, from head to toe and back again.
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Date: 2003-07-30 04:53 pm (UTC)By the way... let me know what your nick is on mIRC, I'll put you on my notify. I don't want you thinking I've forgotten about getting those John Doe eps to you. :)
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Date: 2003-07-30 04:58 pm (UTC)Oh and I haven't forgotten you either! I am sorry I haven't been able to be on mIRC, but my name is dire epiphany there too... though sometimes it cuts it to dire epiph, not sure why. I really appreciate that you are willing to hang in there while my life is busy as hades. :)
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Date: 2003-07-30 05:09 pm (UTC)As for the John Doe eps and waiting for life to get a little less busy, it's not a problem. :) And don't be sorry, I can be patient if need be. :) Undernet only allows 9 characters for nicks, as do other networks. Only a few I've run across that don't have that limitation. I chose undernet because it's popular.
So your nick would be... direepiph..? I kinda like that, hehe. Once I'm sure that's what it is, I'll put it on notify. :)