Lost: Muse, if Found, Please Return

[cassy_g]

So, as I am sure you all know, I am sick. It's nothing too terrible, not like I am throwing up or anything. The most vexing thing is that I constantly feel like my brain is full of cotton balls and that I need to sleep, even when I have been asleep for more than 12 hours in a row!

Along these lines, I am feeling very frustrated and uncreative, blah. This is bad because I want to work on manga. Maybe I was thinking there was more in me than there is, maybe it was a mistake to think I could ever do this.

Yes, I am having a serious self doubt moment.

Or maybe it is serious fear.

It's hard to tell the difference at the moment.

Comments

Ganbatte ne!

[bakeneko.livejournal.com]

I hope it isn't too presumptive to say this, but as an amateur artist, I think I understand what you're dealing with. Making yourself sit down and actually slug though the work of a project of that scope (a comic vs. single illustrations) is sooo flippin' hard, and terribly intimidating.

I think you definitely have it in you, so don't give up! The only way I can handle it is to set tiny goals for myself, and do them one at a time. You can do it, and I can't wait to see what you put together. If you need a quasi-stranger to bounce stuff off of, email shite kudasai.
(and I'm not trying to spam your LJ, really, I swear :x)

Re: Ganbatte ne!

[dire-epiphany.livejournal.com]

Spam away sweetie!

And no, not presumptuous at all. It is definately an overwhelming project.

Thank you so much! :)

I feel the same way

[grizzlydan.livejournal.com]

Even though I've slept more than my share lately, I always feel as if I need a nap. There is a tickle in my throat, and the hint of trouble in my nose. Can't afford that, as tomorrow is a very busy day.

Re: I feel the same way

[dire-epiphany.livejournal.com]

Ack! Sounds like you have the same thing half of Dragon*Con caught.

Believe me when I say, just stay in bed. No matter how much you feel you need to be doing, staying in bed and sleeping seems to be the only cure for the yuckiness.

I hope you feel better soon!

[eugie.livejournal.com]

I think all artists, from the big millionaire types to the starving variety, have their moments of self-doubt. It's part of the creative process, striving to improve one's work and overcome the next obstacle, which usually is oneself.

But, having said that, those moments of quavering self-doubt totally reek. I routinely experience days of "I suck. I can't write. Why do I bother?" But eventually they pass and I go back to plugging away at the keyboard--sucky prose notwithstanding.

For what it's worth, I think you are a very talented, very creative artist. I'm positive you'll feel more positive and productive when you get well. I betcha Michaelangelo and Bougureau didn't create their masterpieces with a head cold.

Sleep! Rest! Get better!

Then create.

[dire-epiphany.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I am just not seeing Michaelangelo pacing the floor of the Sistine Chapel with a paintbrush in his hand saying to himself, "I really should have put the highlights *there*", although it does make for a kind of silly mental image. :D

Yes, self-doubt is a major kick in the rear of the pants. I am feeling better about it today though.

And actually, your opinion is worth a lot to me. Thanks so much for your support. :)

[jollyroger13.livejournal.com]

There's a book you really, REALLY need to read. It's a must own for all creative people and their personalities.

It's entitled Art Making and Fear.

Finally, it's something that addresses the very real psychological aspects of being the owner of a creative mind, and how it manifests...often negatively...the creative process of our work.

It's wonderful. It needs to be part of any art school required textbooks.

[dire-epiphany.livejournal.com]

I will be at a bookstore on Tuesday, I will see if I can find a copy of it. Fear completely sucks.

Thanks for the suggestion. :)

[chalice66.livejournal.com]

You are a wonderful artist! If I hadn't been so sick this past week I would have tried to lure you out for some late night coffee myself. Glad you had some good friends to take your mind off stuff for a while. Hugs!